Broken Return
by SAsrSA
Summary: HaymitchxKatniss Upon returning to District 12, Katniss succumbs to an overwhelming depression. With no one else to help her, Haymitch steps in to pull her through.  Note: This isn't the best. It should be scraped, but I just like it too much
1. Midnight Crazies

The shadows are spinning now.

Katniss sits, curled in a ball, against a corner in her kitchen. Empty vials of morphling sit around her. The Capital still sends the numbing liquid to her every week. They monitor it, but they send it anyway. After all, she's still in pain. Or, at least, that's what she tells them.

The shadows have begun to take forms, walking around her, circling like a pack of demons. One stretches up from the refrigerator shadow, smoking into the form of Cato, as she last saw him. Blood glistens across him entire body, and bubbles out with his soundless breaths. His eyes are gone, his face and skull ravaged by vicious teeth and left bare, with nothing remaining but bone and tendrils of flesh. His feet, his hands, at least a third of his body, is gone. He crawls towards her, black eye sockets boring into her, and she can't look away, until she disappears in the darkness, only to blink, and find him gone.

She tucks in on herself, hands gripping the sides of her head to make the images stop. Little did the doctors know, she'd been saving her morphling, refusing to use it, until now. Katniss had hoped for a gentle death, but that's never been her luck.

A shadow walks by, twisting itself into a devilish version of Foxface. Foxface starts laughing, and the sound reverberates through Katniss, and her face starts to bleed where her fingernails are digging in. Soon other voices join in. Prim melts out from beside the sink, tiny at first, then growing, her shirt extending into a grotesque duck tail. A low, pitiful moan issues from Katniss, then Prim lights up in flames, burning out of existence. Others follow, until she is surrounded by a dancing, screaming hoard. Clove plants a knife in Katniss' heart, but when she tries to pull it out, it denigrates into water around her, flowing until there is an inch of it across the entire floor. Katniss screams, and tears run down her scared face. Peeta walks up to her, and looks directly in her eyes.

"I loved you, Katniss." He says, and soon the whole crowd joins in- her mother and father, Gale and Haymitch, Cinna and Greasy Sae all swarm around her, mocking her in high-pitched voices.

"We loved you, Katniss. We loved you, Katniss. We loved you, Katniss." Katniss starts screaming as loud as she can, a wordless howl of agony. Her throat tears and she tastes blood, but she can't stop the shrieks that fill the room. The water on the floor begins to rise, quickly enveloping her. She gasps for air, and the shadows leap and dance around her, deformed dolphins out to kill. Katniss is pulled under, blackness filling her eyes, her throat, drowning her until she feels her heart** stop**.


	2. Vomit

Only, she doesn't get to die. The morphling doesn't kill her. Haymitch walks over the next morning, intent on making her leave her kitchen, only to find her passed out on the floor. Her hair is matted into thick locks, sticking out at erratic angles, and her clothes are utterly filthy. She lays in a pile of her own vomit, and from the looks of it, urinated on herself.

'She smells pretty bad, too,' Haymitch thinks.

He stands there for a few moments, arguing with himself. He can help her, or he could always go get Greasy Sae to take care of her. Then he could go back to sleep.

He glares balefully at her for a few moments longer, then sighs and walks forward. His fingers seek out her pulse, finding it strong, although her breathing is rapid and short. He scoops her up, being as careful as he can not to be covered in mess, but failing awfully. He carries her over to her bathroom, laying her in her bathtub. He stops for a moment, unsure what to do, before leaning forward and stripping off her shirt, then her pants. Dirt and dry skin cling to the sticky clothing, and Haymitch curls his lip slightly in disgust before tossing them aside. He can't bring himself to remove her underware, though they're yellowed and filthy. She lays there, breathing shallowly, and he rubs the back of his head awkwardly. Katniss' skin is covered in bumbs and ridges of dead, unwashed flesh, and she is very underweight. The dark circles under her eyes, sunken cheeks, and the mismatched patchwork that is her skin make her look much older than she is.

Haymitch sighs again, then gets to work. He fills the basin with warm water, up to her neck. Then, he grabs a sponge from the rim, wets it, and covers it in soap. He heitates again, afraid to harm her delicate flesh, before grabbing an arm and scrubbing. Yellow-white chunks of dead skin scrub off in clumps, up one side of her arm, then back down. The pink skin of her new flesh turns red, so he presses lighter as he turns his attention to her shoulders. She groans, and moves slightly. Haymitch pauses

"Katniss?" He asks cautiously. Katniss opens her eyes slightly, blinking blearily.

"Hay... Mitccch?" She slurs, before closing her eyes and slumping back. Haymitch doesn't move for a moment, feeling anxious. He's not very comfortable with the situation as it is- he couldn't bear it if she was awake.

He hurriedly scrubs at her legs, other arm, back, and shoulders. Haymitch runs the sponge brief over her stomach and chest, avoiding anywhere particularly private, then sits back. Her skin looks much cleaner, although she now lays in water that is floating with clumps of pale, dead flesh, and is faintly yellow in color. He drains the tub, then fills it one more time. Katniss' breathing is improving somewhat.

Haymitch quickly shampoos her hair. The knots and large masses of mats make it nearly impossible for him to clean it well. He frowns, the rinses it, clenching the mass in his fists until no more bubbles appear. She can fix the rest.

Haymitch drains the tub, then wraps a towel around her when it's empty. He picks her up, frowning at her light weight. Her dark, wet hair soaks his shirt as he carries her upstairs to the first bedroom he sees.

He enters the dark, curtained room, flicking on a light and raising an eyebrow. The room is entirely too... young. There are a few hand drawn, cute pictures on the walls of animals, and ribbons on the dresser. He carries her over to the bed, but as he sets her down, something large and furry leaps out and scratches his toes painfully. He yelps, surprised, and drops Katniss the last foot to the bed. Her eyes snap open, unfocused.

"Prim?" She gasps, and Haymitch sees her starting to shake. Cursing, he kicks at the creature, a yellow cat that had belonged to Katniss' younger sister, and sits down beside Katniss.

"Katniss, sweetheart?" He says, unnerved by her behavior.

"Prim? Prim? Oh, oh..." Katniss begins to wail, loudly. "Get me out! Get me OUT!"

"Okay, Katniss, I'll get you out." Haymitch says, as calmly as he can. Before he can move, Katniss lunges towards him, colliding clumsily. She screeches hysterically, and he allows himself to be pushed back, out of the room. Once in the hallway, with the door shut safely behind them she quiets, then quickly sways and collapses. Haymitch catches her awkwardly, and backs into the room behind him. It appears to have been unoccupied, with everything neatly settled and impersonal. Haymitch sets her on the bed, then sits in a nearby chair and sighs. Katniss is unconscious, but trembling uncontrollably. Her hair still hangs in damp clumps around her, so Haymitch leans forward and pulls the comforter out from under her, tucking it in around her. Soon, the trembling stops, and she stills. Haymitch sighs again, and leans back, rubbing his eyes.

His toes still bleed.


	3. Morning Tears

Sunlight wakes him up. Rays are coming through the window curtains, laying against his eyes. His face feels too hot. He shifts uncomfortably and opens his eyes, his back and neck sore from sleeping in the chair.

The first thing he sees is a set of wide, Grey eyes.

Katniss is staring at him. Her face is hollow and her matted hair hangs in clumps against her cheeks. She has little, scabbed crescent moons all over her face, and Haymitch wonders idly where she got them.

She doesn't say a word.

"Katniss." Haymitch says. She blinks ta him, and relaxes back into her pillows

"What are you doing here?" She sneers, her lip curling back. Haymitch feels anger beginning to well in him.

"I just saved you, apparently." He says. Katniss doesn't look at him. She just sits with her wide gaze set on the ceiling.

"No, you didn't." She retorts. Haymitch raises a grayed eyebrow and leans forward, resting his head on his hand and his elbow on his knee.

"Well, you were still alive. You were covered in your own piss and vomit, though. And you'll probably have died soon if someone hadn't cleaned you up a little. So, yes, I saved you." Haymitch says. Katniss turns her head lazily.

"I want to die, Haymitch."

He grits his teeth slightly, digging the heel of his hand into his eyes.

"No, you don't." He growls. A faint pink flush rises to her face.

"Yes, I do! I do, Haymitch! There's nothing left for me." She finishes lamely. Katniss meets his gaze and his gray eyes narrow.

"What about you're mother?" He asks, rather patiently. Katniss huffs.

"Pfft... She'd rather not be here, or around me. I remind her too much of Prim. She doesn't even want to live with me. What does that tell you?"

"That she's in pain, and you'd be selfish to take yourself away from her now?" Haymitch snaps. Katniss doesn't even flinch.

"Well, I don't guess I can worry about that now, can I? The morphling didn't kill me! It didn't work! Do you know how long I'll have to wait for more?" She shouts, sitting up. Her chest is heaving and her skin is fully flushed now.

"Oh, well, why don't you just use a knife then? Get it over with, huh?" Haymitch responds sarcastically. Katniss begins to cry, fat tears falling down her cheeks and landing in wet pools on her sheets.

"I don't want to feel anymore pain!" She cries, ducking her head against her chest, sobbing. "I just. Don't. Want. To hurt. I don't... I can't." Katniss starts gasping for air, her eyes darting frantically from side to side. Her raises her hands almost unconsciously and begins chewing on her nails, distraught.

Haymich stares at her for a few moments. His face is pale, and he can't quite decided what to do.

"You're pathetic." He says at last, attempting to anger her. Her sobs increase in intensity. He sighs and runs a hand through his dark hair. He lifts his gaze.

"You're the Mockingjay." Haymitch tries, half-heartedly. Katniss is shivering and doesn't seem to hear him. He reaches out and tugs on her shoulder.

"Hey? Come here." He orders. She half crawls, have slides towards him. He grunts slightly as he lifts her dead weight. Her feet slide off the bed, landing on the carpet with a thunk before he lifts her into his lap. She curls against his chest, knees up and arms wrapping around herself. Haymitch bends slightly, pulling his own legs up closer to more fuller surround her. Her trembling continues to shake her whole body, and silently tears fall against his chest.

"I'll protect you." He reassures her awkwardly. She looks up at him, confused. Her lips quiver and her eyes are bright and moist.

"What?" She whispers. Haymitch leans his head down, resting his forehead against hers. He locks gaze with her.

"I will keep you safe." He says firmly. Her eyes tear up again and she buries her head under his chin.

"Oh... Oh, Haymitch..." She gasps, fingers clinging into him, digging grooves in his chest. He lays his head atop of hers, giving up on stopping her tears.

_Katniss._


	4. Dinner Call

It takes along time for them to move. Finally though, they hear Greasy Sae come into the house downstairs.

"Katniss?" Her gravely voice raises up the stairs. Haymitch shakes Katniss a little.

"Come on. It's time to eat." He says. She grunts and tries to ignore him.

"Move." Haymitch orders. She glares at him under long lashes.

"No." She retorts. Haymitch stands up and promptly drops her on the floor. She lands in a pile at his feet, but simply curls into a ball and lays there.

"You don't have a choice." Haymitch says simply. He reaches down and grabs her wrist, jerking her upward.

"Ow!" She cries out, but Haymitch doesn't relinquish his grip. He starts dragging her out the room, then down the stairs.

"Katniss? Where are you?" Greasy Sae yells in concern. Her normally slow footsteps can be heard moving rapidly from room to room.

"She's right here, Sae!" Haymitch calls. His voice echoes in the empty house. Sae pauses for a moment.

"Okay. Dinner for two?" She asks, her head peeking into the room. Her gray hair is tousled and unkempt, thinning considerably.

"Yes." Haymitch replies.

"Let me go!" Katniss snarls. Haymitch drags her the rest of the way into the kitchen and deposits her in a chair. She huffs and starts rubbing her wrist. To their left is the drying mess from the night before. Greasy Sae sees it turns to Haymitch, her eyebrows raised.

"Katniss had a little accident." He explains. Greasy Sae, to her credit, merely nods.

"I'll get the mop."

An hour later, food is layed out on the table. Greasy Sae has cooked up a delicacy- Beef imported from the districts, corn, baked bread, and green beans. Dandelions sit in a bowl in the middle.

"Eat up," she says, flopping down in a seat with a barely concealed sigh of exhaustion. A wooden cane sits beside her, and her wrists are surprisingly thin.

_She's getting old_, Katniss thinks to herself in surprise.

"Well?" Sae says, looking up at her dinner guests. Haymitch is staring at Katniss, and Katniss is staring at Sae. Katniss blinks once.

"I'm not hungry." She says. Haymitch's eyes narrow.

"Eat." He says. Katniss scoots back from the table, standing up to leave.

"No." Haymitch lunges forward and grabs her arm, purposely digging his nails into her skin.

"You will sit here. You will eat." Haymitch orders. He leans towards Katniss, his voice lowering menacingly. "If you don't, I will force feed you. I will break your jaw if I have to, but you will eat."

Katniss turns and looks at him. She appears ready to resist, or hit him, but then her shoulders slump and she collapses back into her chair. Haymitch smirks and leans forward, beginning to dish food onto Katniss' plate.

Greasy Sae looks at them in sad confusion, then turns to her own food.

They spend the rest of their meal in silence.


End file.
